Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
