i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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