suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
