sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize