I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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