Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
