Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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