yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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