kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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