You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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