His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize