D3 body, D1 cock
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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