ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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