this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
