The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your penis caused this!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
