I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
