I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
