she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
