In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
