if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
