woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
