well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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