I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
