Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
