It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
