Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
