yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
