Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
