My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize