i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
