From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
