I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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