Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
