hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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