but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly