i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night