All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
