I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
