I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize