are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
