i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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