I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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