I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
