That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
