The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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