If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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