we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
