Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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