Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
