I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
