The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
