My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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