Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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