very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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