talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
