Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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